Little Miss Apprehensive

(From Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson)

It's common to understand one's self better than most. Obviously, since you're the one inside your own head.

What happens when even you don't know what to do?

Like, all of the sudden, something that should be completely conspicuous and just right in front of your face isn't here nor there or anywhere, really. Because the only one that could know is yourself. But you don't. So you're screwed. Sorta. I guess.

I hope not. Otherwise, well, then I'm screwed. Pfft.

It's not like I don't know what it should feel like if I did.
Or if I didn't.
Either way.
I've known in times before--
whether or not I like them as more than a platonic relation.
And it's possible I'm blowing things way out of proportion--probable, even.
But that's not really the point.

And the part of my brain that thinks with some semblence of intelligence is telling me to deter this ever progressing flirtfest.
And then the part of my brain that thinks with estrogen is saying to go for it, to hell with the consequences. Let the cards fall as they may and hope it works out for the best. The worst that could happen is that he breaks my heart...which is really all I've got to lose.

I've never really been afraid of this kinda thing. It's always been a touch and go sort a business, playing it by ear as I went. But after two years of being a bitter and scorned witch, I'm not sure I could play the princess in the tower very well.
Or rather, at all.

So yea.
Confused out of my mind.
Trying to figure it all out, and hoping it doesn't come to that at the same time.
Because really, why would he ask me out anyways?
He wouldn't.
I'm jumping bridges that aren't built yet.
Blegh.

Panda out.