Gawd, I love that emo song.
It's just so angry. It makes me feel just a little bit better about life.
=D
No, but seriously, today, I'm not sure what happened.
So, this girl, the one I hate with ever loathing passion that I hope gets hit by a bus drived by yours truely--yea, her. Well, her and that asshole of a boyfriend she has, rather had, have broken up. Evidently, he's even more of an asshole than I thought. Not only did they break up, but he still wants to be friends. Says he still loves her and wants her in his life, but not in a romantic sense. Whatever. I'd tell'im to piss off. Which is possibly why I remain single. However, that's not the point. THe point is: I felt sorry for her. Like legitimate sympathy. She had a freakin' baby with him! I mean, sure, yes, I've continuously called her a whore, but really, she (from all accounts, and I hate myself a little for saying this) really cared about him. I'm not calling it love. I'm sorry, we're all still in highschool. Love doesn't exist for us, yet. But I'll admit to a certain extent of caring in more than a platonic sense.
She thought they were going to be together forever. Legitimately had decided that at some point they were going to get married have a legit babies. She's been through pregnancy, and whispers, and all sorts of things just for him. She's given him everything she's got to give. And what does he do?
Treats her like shit. Treats her as if she's nothing more than a toy he's gotten bored with. He'd still like it to sit on the shelf and look pretty and awesome, but he doesn't really wanna play with it anymore. What a ho. Honestly, he disgusts me more than she ever could. He's just screwing around with her now (pun intended. Ask me if I care that it's in bad taste. Go ahead. I dare you.). So yea.
But what makes me so upset--is that I felt so sorry for her, that I couldn't find it in me to be happy about it. Her life is absolutely wrecked. There's nothing left to it. She is a broken and fallen woman. She won't recover unless they get back together.
She actually did fall on her face...and she didn't get back up this time.
And I feel awful for her. And it's infuriating!
I actually had the notion to hug her and tell her it would be okay.
WHAT. THE. HELL.
Seriously.
Just no.
So I'm furious, but not with her, furious more really with that asshole that calls himself a good person. The audacity of some people. The y-chromosome makes people so DUMB! Ugh.
So yea. And yet, some part of me that wasn't very loud, was mildly upset that she wasn't crying. She should've. I would've. I did, and I wasn't even in as deep as she was. I take comfort that her eyes were sort of red and puffy when she told me. If anyone suggests it was allergies, I'm going to falcon punch them. Just saying.
Also: I'm tired. And I'm being worked to death, and am also underpaid. I'm only complaining because it won't reach the employer's ears. Especially since my employer doesn't know who the heck I am considering we've never met. Ever.
Yea. Not to mention, I have actual obligations to Art Club and PALs. That being baking 3 DOZEN COOKIES (WTF?! D00D, seriously?!), making a PALs poster (all artsy like), and an Art Club poster (using a collage of photos from previous years so that we don't have to remake our sample sheet completely). We won't go into my homework load that I'm not doing voluntarily. Blegh.
6 hours of sleep is so not enough to keep my awake during Pre Cal. Just saying.
On a happier note: me and Tyler may or may not be going to the mall and the movies on Saturday. Just for the heck of it as friends. Because really, he's my replacement Alan. Don't tell him that, though. Because at the same time: he's Tyler, not Alan. There's a big difference. It makes sense in my head. I know what I'm talking about.
Panda out.
